


Resident Crazy vs Evil

by Odd1



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood and Injury, Comedy, Crazy Original female character(s), Drug Use, End of the World, Gun Violence, Like a shit toon, Monsters, Other, Stabbing, Swearing, Touring, Trust Issues, What if Wesker didn't die!!, Zombie Apocalypse, with horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26391595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odd1/pseuds/Odd1
Summary: Meet Ryle a crazy 22 year old that survived the Racoon City T-Vires outbark. But things happened different in this universe. Eleven years latter with the Africa incident shit get worse. Wesker doesn't die and is now on a mission to take over the world with his son Jake. Chris and his group are the remaining BSAA agents left to stop him. But after a gun fight with some Umbrella agents back in Racoon City all hope seems lost to the group. Until a bat welding crazy head saves them. Ryle is head over heals to help the remaining agents in there quest to save the world. But is she really more important then anyone may realize? Wesker has big plans and taking out the pesky thorns that bug him is one of them.
Relationships: Chris Redfield/Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield/Original Female Character(s), Sherry Birkin/Jake Muller
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1.

**Author's Note:**

> A new story I'm, on a roll. This fanfic is based of resident evil. But I changed it up a bit. Some information may be wrong about the game, so if that bugs you, go read something else. (DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT). This is kind of a comedy mixed with horror. I made this because I'm bored, thx Covid. You are reading the story form the eyes of a crazy person BTW. PLZ ENJOY. LOVE ALL YOU THAT READ MY WORK <3 Have an awesome day.

Chapter 1.

One would call me crazy, and I can neither confirm nor deny that statement. I must admit I talk to myself way too much and like to do erratic things, like stab things, but that doesn’t mean I have lost it right. Fuck it. No, who am I kidding I am off the charts crazy. Some one call the doctor I need a strain jacket, and a cushy room for one. Imagine if the walls in an insane asylum were made from trampolines now that shit would be fun.

But you cannot really blame me for going off the deep end. I do have a bullet in my head for Christ sakes, (THANKS DAD! I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL!). And I may have been on my own for, let me see, a long time, almost eleven years. Not a lot of people to talk to when it’s the apocalypse, mainly because they fucken dead. Even if it wasn’t the end of the world, I have a good feeling people would avoid me. Can’t really blame them though.

I was in Raccoon city when this hole dame thing started. There was some big headline calling it the T-vires or some shit. Some years latter heard news on the radio about it being in Africa and it was spreading like AIDS all over the remainder of the world. Some rumor that an organization named Umbrella were the bitches that started it. After that power went out in the city it hasn’t been on since. The city became a mad house in hours. Left and right people turning into monsters, even animals. That’s more fucked up than me. But not to worry I was not killed in the prosses. If I was how could I be telling you this? Did I just break the fourth wall?  
Damn right I did. I’m getting off topic. Feel like I should have died though being 11 and all but was pretty much on my own anyway.

No, I may be crazy but I’m not stupid, don’t look at me like that. I got the hell out of dodge. Pretty mush was fuck this shit I’m out kind of thing. Left my family’s old apartment to the new and beautiful Racoon Forest. My rent was a pain for the fam to pay, but no rent in the forest. Unfortunately, I now have monster animal roommates. But no rent, I see this as an absolute win! Been living there for a long time, could have move to another city or found my family, but fuck that. I was a strong independent 11-year-old girl that would go camping with the boy scouts, I could do this. You know what don’t worry too much about it.

I got a sick camp that I made myself. I may have went back to the city and stole some stuff, but it’s not illegal if you don’t get caught. Who am I kidding it’s the end of the damn world no one gives a shit if I take their stuff? Note to self, next time I’m in the city, go to Game Stop and get my money back, my Gameboy was more than $8.32. Those cheap basters. I made a shack in between two trees and have my hammock in it. Beats sleeping on the muddy ground. I even made other shacks just in case I found anyone to survive with. Looking back at that now was a waist of time (Everyone’s dead!!). Besides a big as fire pit and some more junk I don’t have much. If things do get worst, I’m digging a bunker, get some Fallout in this bitch. Or I’ll try that digging to China thing everyone’s been talking about.

Lately it’s quiet now that majority of everyone is dead. But the other day when I was parkouring around the city I heard hellichopers. Yes hellichopers, fight me. Been here for a long enough to know that shit ain’t right. No ones in the city but those monsters. I like to climb on what’s left of the clock tower sometimes and I saw them. A group of fifty or so armed men rounding up those monsters. Like how the fuck they do that? WAIT THAT’S ILLEGAL!! Last time I checked those monsters killed everything, not much of the cooperation type. They just walking into those giant cages like they were dogs.

Nearly killed myself when one of those men saw me looking like batman over a weird ass Gotham city. Not sure why but one tried to shoot me down. Missed me by a mile. My advice guy should have played more Call of Duty (360 no scope bitch learn it love it). But ever since then I haven’t gone back to the city. Don’t really want to get shot or put in a cage, I’m not that kind of wild. I’m also kind of scared. I barely got a good look at the symbol the men had on their uniforms. It was one of the last things I saw on the news before it went out. The symbol looked like the front of an umbrella, and the news peoples said to avid these people if seen. DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE! Men with guns bad. Men that can control the monsters, EVEN FUCKING WORSE! But I can hear them getting closer in the nights rounding up more of those monsters. May have to move soon. I don’t really have a defense system, just some barbed wire and old fence. I do have guns but no bullets. I know its lame. Still got my old slugger though.

But last night there was a shooting war that lasted until morning. I have decided to grow a pair and go cheek it out. Who knows might find something interesting? I am Ryle Lynn Loren for crying out loud and danger is my middle name. Wait? Not really sure what the shooting was about but something tells me part two of hell breaking lose is about to go down. What can you do though, it’s the fucking apocalypse? But I’m 22 years old and it’s about time I do something with my life.


	2. New friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends to show my epic snow globe collection to!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy my Beautiful readers!!

It was a blood bath. Thousands of bullets lined the smoldering city streets. Agents and monsters covered the ground their bodies bleeding red. Grose, I know right. There was some fire that started in a nearby building that was now spreading to its neighbors. Think I might vomit. I’m crazy but I really don’t like being around dead things, and blood makes me sick. See not so nuts right. Looking around though there seemed to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere. Just my luck.   
This was odd. Almost eleven years go by and now things start to go down in the city. Really can’t put my finger on it, I’m no detective. After a minute of loly gaging, I decided I’d walk around and check the bodies. But no life. I was kneeling down by about the tenth dead guy when I hear the clicking of a gun (Shit).   
“Hands up in the air or say good-bye to your head.”  
Don’t judge me but what I said next wasn’t that smartest.  
“Dad, you finally came back to finish the job, better do it quick that bullet you put in my head earlier needs a buddy, he’s lonely.”  
Then I may have stated laughing for no reason after that, nice Ryle. I didn’t get to say anything else after that because the bitch drop kicked me, hard. I stumbled over the body I was searching, and face planted on the pavement. Lucky of me to not drop old trusty though.   
“What the bloody hell man!”  
Lifting myself off the pavement to face the bitch, I nearly choked. He was breathtaking. The guy that kicked me was still pointing the gun at me, but I didn’t really care though. His partner was mic dreamy. Tall, built like a steal door with beautiful brown hear. Didn’t even notice he had four other people with him. Must have been staring a little too hard because one of the females yelled at me to stop. Not my fault I was staring, really haven’t been around men in a long time.  
“Who the hell are you.” Stated a blond man that kicked me, as he continued to hold the pistol.  
I kind of gave him a blank stare for a moment. My name I forgot my damn name from looking at a hot man. The fuck is wrong with me. After about a minute of fumbling over my words I got it out though.  
“Ryle, would say it’s nice to meet you but the gun makes it kind of pointless.”  
Blondie rolled his eyes.  
“Drop the bat kid.”  
Kid, who was this guy calling a kid? But I really wasn’t in the mood to get shot so I throw the old slugger on the ground. You win some you lose some what can you do.   
“Well blondie you happy, or do I have to kiss your feet now.”  
The whole group gave me a weird look that contained just a dash or disgust. It’s not like I just cursed their grandmother’s names or anything (gez lighten up). Sarcasm people learn it, love it, or deal with it.   
“You crazy or something,” one of the women asked me with more attitude then I liked. She was obviously related to mc hottie, they look very similar to one another. Hope he didn’t have an attitude like her or no dice. Don’t judge me! If you were like me, you would do the same thing. Mc hottie was about to say something when there was an exposition about fifty feet behind us. I for one do not like loud noises whatsoever. Dog whistles are especially bad, think it has something to do with the bullet in my head. I get really lightheaded and my nose starts bleeding.  
The group all hit the deck and ran for cover moment later. Me on the other hand, I feel to my knees in pure agony. My head and ear were ringing like an old pay phone. Blondie yelled something, but I really couldn’t here him. Out of the smoke form the exposition emerged a new group of men. All of them except for one looked like the dead men on the ground. The misfit of the big group had a buzz cut and was tall as hell. He as yelling something to the brady bunch I met seconds earlier. I could barely make out what mc hottie yelling back at the tall guy when the bullets started flying.  
Trying to pull myself together, I managed to crawl to cover. Ever been in a gun fight before, well take it from me you don’t want to be. The larger group was starting to move towards us ever so slowly. This shit was getting intense, but I had to do something to get out of here. I got my bearings back and searched for something to use. It felt like forever, but I eventually found my bat again that ruled next to a bag being held by a dead guy. You would not believe what was in it. That’s right GRENADES (and don’t lie to me you didn’t even guess). Things are about to get interesting my friends.   
Not thinking to much about it I pulled out the pin of the first grenade and throw it at tall guy and his men. BOOMS AWAY! EXPLOSIVO BOOM BOOM! The group let out broken yells, but it was to late. Didn’t hit tall guy but really wasn’t really trying to hit him. I say let the cute ones live. One after another I chucked grenades left and right. The gun fire died down and I decided to make my getaway (RUN danananan). The brady bunch must have thought the same thing because when I looked behind me, they had dropped their weapons and were following me. Excuse me what the fuck, get your own getaway rout. In an attempt to lose the bunch, I picked up the pace. IM FAST AS FUCK BOY. But they just kept following me no matter what I did. Not that I didn’t want them to or anything, but they did just almost get me killed.   
I was just to the edge of the forest when I came to a stop. Out a breath I turned around and they were still following me. I placed my bat on my shoulders and waited for them to get closer.   
“Why are you running! And for the love of god stop following me.” I yelled.   
All of them were out of breath as well when they finally reached me. The one poor lady that gave me attitude earlier looked like she was about to pass out. Blondie moved closer to me holing out his hands, pistol nowhere to be seen.   
“Listen kid, were in some deep trouble here.” “Those Umbrella agents will be here any minute now we really need your help.”  
I let out a huff. Who the hell were these guys anyway? But I really needed these people. Being alone for so long was takings a tool on me. Besides if they come with me maybe I could spend more time with mc hottie. Again, don’t judge me I’m just lonely.  
“I’m not running a charity blondie, but I do have room in my camp for you and your friends. As long as you don’t mind living with a psychopath.”  
I flashed them a big smile. The women weren’t having it though. The three of them pulled blondie and hottie away in a huff.  
“You can’t be serious, that bitch is crazier than Weaker!” Yelled the short hair brown one. “Going with her will get us kill.” Protested the short hair blond one.   
Turning to them with great annoyance I tried to sound as snotty as possible. “I can fucking hear you shit head. You have ten seconds to jump on my band wagon or go back to playing bullet tag with tall guy.” That was all it took for the two guys to join me by the edge of the forest.  
“Jill, Sherry, Carlie, we don’t have a chose.” Stated blondie. “It’s either this or we get caught by Jake.”   
The trio of women let out sighs and joined me and the boys. This was going to be awesome, I had new roommates. I let out a joyful laugh. As I began to lead my new friends to camp.  
“You have nothing to worry about, I don’t bit that hard. Been a while since I had compony will need to dust out the old hammocks and shacks for yawl.” And with that me and my new friends walked further into the forest. This was so exciting; I couldn’t wait to show them my epic snow globe collection. But as we walked blondie and hottie kept looking behind them. Not sure what these people were running from but I’m sure it wasn’t good.


End file.
